Jamie Oliver Tells Countrymen What to Put in Their Mouths, Puts Foot in Own
Jamie Oliver, a frequent Crispy target for his nannying ways, is at it again. This time the paunchy mushmouth has seen fit to take on his fellow Brits, calling them drunken laggards who don’t know a good meal from a bad one because, well, they’re drunken laggards, reports the Telegraph:
This time the cook, who made his name as The Naked Chef in the late 90s, has turned his fire on everything from the paucity of British cooking to binge drinking.
In an interview in the latest edition of Paris Match magazine published in French, Oliver contrasts the country with France, where old fashioned cu[s]toms are still observed.
Oliver even claims that he had found a better range of food in African slums than in his home country, where people were more interested in getting “drunk in pubs” than eating well.
Oliver is looking to combat these problems (the ones in England, not Africa) by–amongst other things–launching an effort “to ban pies from football grounds,” an effort that’s earned the ire of punters everywhere. And he’s faring no better in commentators’ eyes, either. In fact, it seems that only the nefariously opinionated celebrity watcher Perez Hilton is unable to formulate an opinion about Oliver’s latest shenanigans.
Crispy on Jamie here. Jamie cracking ill-received Holocaust jokes here. Commentators tired of “being lectured at by a celebrity chef on yet another crusade” here. More Oliver acting foolish here. Still more bad press here.
Canada’s Dollar and Sense Stronger Than Ours
I was excited to see The Grinder taking on food regulations in a short post this morning titled Canadian Food: Now with Less Regulation!. But then I read the post, and found it’s nothing more than just your standard no such thing as a bad regulation hogwash so blindly followed by many in the media and public alike.
It somehow conflates labeling* with inspection. It fails to acknowledge that large industries tend to like firm regulations because they create often insurmountable barriers to entry. It’s anti-food. It sucks. End of story on that.
But in terms of the post’s topical issue, I’m getting a very strong sense that something revolutionary is afoot with food deregulation in Canada. It’s not just the elimination of these useless labeling requirements so beloved by The Grinder. (And it’s not like Canada doesn’t have–from the same article The Grinder cites–”hundreds of frontline inspectors to review labels on store shelves.”)
But there have been small-but-important baby steps like Quebec’s recent legalization of margarine. (For those of you who think that margarine is truly legal in this country, try buying a tub less than one pound in size.)
And there have been big steps, like the province’s lifting of the ban on raw-milk products–a ban that had forced the mostly disappointing Montreal writer Taras Grescoe to document his quest for perfectly legal raw-milk cheese in France. (Note that, in spite of the subhead on the Quebec-ban article, raw-milk cheeses like queso fresco are perfectly legal in Mexico, which last time I checked was part of North America.)
So Canada’s doing some pretty cool stuff up there, eh? If only I wasn’t a student, and the exchange rate wasn’t so terrible, me and my appetite would pack up the car and head north of the border for good eats this minute.
*Speaking of labeling, Jacob Grier, guest blogging at The Agitator, had a nice post last week on NYC’s menu labeling fiasco.
Lawyering Sparks Indian Food Warning Cards with Every Meal
You’d think that people with nut allergies would know to ask about nuts in food before eating–especially a cuisine (Indian, Thai, etc.) known to contain them. You’d think that, because that’s common sense, but you’d be wrong.
Managers at the up-market [Masala World] London chain, which include Chutney Mary in Chelsea and the award-winning Amaya in Belgravia, show all customers who say they have the allergy a 100-word health warning.
The card makes clear that while only some dishes have nuts as an ingredient, all may become accidentally contaminated with traces of nut in the kitchen.
It adds that the restaurant owners, Masala World, cannot be held liable for adverse reactions to its food.
The drastic step has been taken following a threat of legal action by a customer who suffered a serious allergic reaction to a dish which did not contain nuts in its recipe.
[...]
In the past, managers at the restaurants have spoken to allergy sufferers about the risks of contamination. Menus have also stated that all dishes may contain traces of nuts. But following the legal threat, Masala World toughened its stance, and even banned allergy sufferers from using its restaurants for a week while it reviewed its policy.
From this month, customers at its five Masala Zone restaurants in London who state that they suffer from a nut allergy are being asked by managers to read the cards.
The group’s other three restaurants are in the process of introducing similar cards.
They state: ‘We cannot guarantee that our food is free from traces of nuts . . . therefore customers with nut allergies/intolerances wishing to eat in our restaurants do so entirely at their own risk.’
The Daily Mail has more.
This Week in Bacon
It used to be that bacon on a stick meant this. But Minnesotans, who hold state fairs seemingly for the sole purpose of showing off what foods can be sold on a stick, have revolutionized (!) bacon on a stick, KARE reports.
There are 14 new food items at the Great Minnesota Get-Together this year. Yes, many are deep fried and several are on-a-stick. We went down the menu, and put four of them to the test. “Big fat bacon on a stick,” Larry Abdo exclaimed. “It’s got protein, it’s got sugar, it’s got pepper, it’s got fat, and some people even call it sex on a skillet,” he added. This isn’t your grocery store “sample day” size bacon. It’s thick. “It’s decadent, and it’s 3 bucks,” Abdo said. Vivian Mattson was impressed. “It’s a little messy, but it’s good,” she said, between chews.
Mmm.
BoaS inventor Abdo told WCCO that trying to sell bacon without a stick in Minnesota is “like going fishing without minnows. You have to have the stick.” So there.
If all this sounds like an Andrew Zimmern wet dream, well that’s because it is.
Turtle Soup Ingredients Slowly Crawl into Ristorante
What to do when five-dozen, cute, flippering, endangered little turtles show up in your restaurant? Soup?
About 60 baby sea turtles wandered into a beachside restaurant in the southern Italian region of Calabria….
The turtles, which were hatched on a nearby beach, were on their way to the sea when the artificial lights distracted them, Britain’s Daily Telegraph reported. At first diners in the restaurant were startled. Then they called coastal authorities, who notified Colucci. WWF collected them and released them into the sea.
Fortunately, turtle soup is not a Calabrian specialty.
Ah. Well, that’s too bad.
Especially since it doesn’t seem it would be too difficult to turn the classic, Creole version into something Italians could call their own. (Substitute Marsala for Worcestershire, basil for marjoram, etc.) Serve it with an Italian red. Voila! (Er, ecco!)
But lest anyone think that turtle soup has never occurred to the Italians–or some non-Italians living in Italy–look no further than Cyrus and Salvator in The Family Robinson of Italy, a 1919 novel I believe to be a Swiss Family Robinson knock-off.
More on that here. Bonus, unrelated two-headed turtle theft here. Bonus, unrelated four-eyed turtle birth here. Bonus, unrelated giant turtle sighting here. Bonus, unrelated GPS-enhanced, pot-detecting turtle named Jimmy (seriously) here.
Yummy as Riblets: Applebee’s Julia Stewart
Today’s NYT has an entertaining and revealing profile of the very powerful and attractive Julia Stewart, the fifty-something head of the DineEquity empire–the world’s largest restaurant chain–which includes IHOP and Applebee’s.
Key fact: Julia is overlord of 95% of the world’s riblets. 95%!
Last year Ms. Stewart became chief executive. She left the company as president of the domestic division in 2001 after being passed over for the top spot. She landed at IHOP (where she had worked as a waitress in high school), and began to rehabilitate what has become the nation’s largest family restaurant chain. Then, in a turn soaked with satisfaction IHOP absorbed the Applebee’s chain.
[...]
Spending time with her is like having a direct view of what America wants to eat.
In her business, people use phrases like “drink equity” and “healthy indulgence rebranding.” Everyone is on the hunt for the next “craveable,” an item like a whole deep-fried onion, a potato skin stuffed with bacon or, in Applebee’s case, the riblet.
[...]
At Applebee’s, she has to tread as carefully. Tweaking the sweet, artificial hickory taste of the riblets is one thing, but losing the mozzarella stick? Dream on. “Don’t get me started on the mozzarella stick,” she said. “Can we get rid of them entirely? Probably not. All I know is we can do better in appetizers. Maybe it’s a panko breaded calamari. Maybe a baked wing.”
More here. Speaking of powerful women and Applebee’s, learn what Sleater-Kinney has to do with the restaurant chain here.
As a Bacon Lover, Celts Diehard, Jilted Manny Fan, and Randy Newman Hater, So Easy to Say ‘I Hate LA’ (Bacon-Wrapped Bleg Included)
Reason’s Katherine Mangu-Ward blogged yesterday about the latest and saddest chapter in Los Angeles’s war against crispy-food vendors. I’ll first crib her quoting of LAist:
At Hollywood and Highland last Friday night, police cracked down on the little ladies with the cars selling those street favorites. All the food and all their equipment were confiscated and trashed.
And then M-W’s own words.
An LAist photographer was there, and he caught a series of horrifying images, including the one above, which depicts illegal hot dog carts being fed into the gaping maw of the dumpster truck. This is a cruel variation on the proper order of things, which should include grilled bacon dogs being fed into the gaping maws of drunk idiots.
She writes that “[t]he story has everything: class warfare, racism, protection rackets, relish, and mustard.” What–no catsup?
All kidding aside, I can think of no better (nor more infuriating) example of why I went to law school than this latest travesty of justice–that and virtually everything the city of Los Angeles has recently done to kill its reputation as a place for yummy food.
And now, a bit of a bleg. I propose a “race for the cure[d meat]” fundraiser to support a legal campaign by the bacon-dog vendors…. An illicit-bacon-dog eating competition, with bets placed, prizes awarded, and the house shipping its cut out to bacon-dog lawyers on the left coast. Any DC-area venue and/or bacon + dog sponsors out there?
More coverage from Crispy on the LA bacon dog debacle here.
Update: The malaise spreads as San Francisco cracks down on taco trucks.
‘Voodoo Doughnut’ Will Put Deep-Fried Spell on You
Portland’s one of my favorite cities on the planet–albeit one I’ve only spent about a week in. If I were to move anyplace from my tepidly beloved DC, it’d probably be Portland.
The city probably has a better mix of quality local food, beer, and wine than any city on earth. And it’s quirky, dedicated, and unique places like Voodoo Doughnut that make it truly special. You want bacon on your doughnut? Cereal? You got it.
Learn more in the excellent interview and photo essay below.
Official site here. Slow-to-load but excellent photo documentary on Voodoo Doughnut here. Latest on Voodoo’s new second location at Willamette Week. Anthony Bourdain munching doughnuts on No Reservations at Serious Eats.
Thanks to my buddy Ivan, whose friend did the interviewing, for the tip.
This Week in Bacon
Baconostalgia. It’s not been a word, but it should be, and becomes one with a little portmanteauing.
Baconostalgia is a noun, and refers to one’s expression of longing for the past through the medium of bacon.
Here are two proper uses of the word. First, I was feeling a bit baconostalgic, and so I used Google News to search back for cool articles about bacon from 100 years ago this summer.
“Eating [in] this hot weather should be made a careful consideration by everybody,” said a well known physician. “It is not a known fact, but fat meat, especially salt pork, is one of the best things to eat during hot weather. The stomach will digest bacon when it will not digest anything else.”
Second, A man set to be executed–in Texas, naturally–in a final fit of baconostalgia, had a bacon cheeseburger as part of his last meal.
[Michael] Rodriguez, 45, asked for fried chicken breast, preferably spicy, grilled pork steak with onions, bacon cheeseburger, a garden salad, and French fries with ketchup.
Satisfy your baconostalgia here.
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Chef, Spy
Julia Child was a great chef. A towering figure–both literally and figuratively. And she was also a U.S. spy during WWII. That according to new documents released this week.
But didn’t we already know this? USA Today noted upon the 2002 opening of the Spy Museum in DC that
[a] section on celebrity spies includes chef Julia Child, who processed classified documents in Ceylon for the CIA precursor, the Office of Strategic Services (OSS). “She had a taste for adventure,” quips Coakley, showing off a blown-up photo of Child reclining glamorously on an Army-style bunk bed.
Even if this latest news isn’t exactly, well, news, it’s as good a time as any to note that food and spies have always had an interesting relationship–from competitors spying on chefs to steal their recipes to unsuspecting archaeologists dosed with poisoned drinks to faceless modern-day Soviets poisoning former spies with toxic dishes.
As those latter two events reminded readers, the surest way to (stop) a man’s heart is though his stomach.
Post title explained here.
Brit Gov’t Drinks Measures Cause Brew-Ha-Ha
It’s alright to stop off at your local for a pint, but not for a half-litre, even though they’re pretty much the same thing. That according to English law. And that regulatory idiocy might cost restaurant owner Nic Davison a fine of £2,000.
Mr Davison, an accountant, and his partner Dr Krystyna Ciuraj, a GP, opened their Polish restaurant in Doncaster in May.
Kuchnia Polska instantly became a hit with locals as well as the Polish community.
But last week trading standards officers from Doncaster council served an infringement notice on the business - because it was serving drinks in the wrong size of glass.
This was because the Polish brewer providing Zywiec beer also supplied the glasses, which come in ’small’ and ‘large’ - 0.3 and 0.5 litre sizes.
But under 1988 Weights and Measures legislation, draught beer and cider may only be sold in pints. Serving them in litres, or fractions of litres, is illegal - even through half a litre is almost the same as one pint.
Officers told the couple they had 28 days to change all of their glassware, or face prosecution. The notice came despite there being no complaints from customers.
Mr Davison said: ‘This is nonsensical.
[...]
‘Local people love Polish beer - it’s very good.
‘It just shows the law is stupid.
‘I love Poland and I speak Polish, but the European Community is corrupt as hell and a waste of time.’
Last year Brussels said it would give up its fight to make Britain drop imperial measurements, meaning the Government did not have to bring in laws making it illegal for traders to use pounds and ounces.
But the law on pints remains.
Mr Davison enlisted the help of the Metric Martyrs, which was set up to support Sunderland market trader Steve Thoburn who was convicted in 2001 for selling bananas by the pound.
Spokesman Neil Herron said he was backing the bid to save the litre in this case because it shows that the law is ridiculous.
‘Yet again we have officials who have failed to exercise any common sense,’ he said.
Restaurant website here. More on the Polish beer controversy from the Daily Mail. Learn about the whole English measurement brew-ha-ha from the Metric Martyrs’ Movement. Crispy on EU regulatory food nightmares here.
Missing Swiss Courier/Gourmand Skips Out on El Bulli Check, Vanishes
Tragedy and mystery are turning this summer into a screenwriter’s delight. First the Brasilian balloon priest, then the disaster on K2, and now this:
[Motorcycle courier] Pascal Henry, 46, began his quest to eat at all 68 three-star Michelin-rated restaurants in 68 days — a 24,850-mile (40,000km) journey that would take him through nine countries — last May.
But in June he disappeared from a table at El Bulli, the celebrated Spanish establishment, without paying and has not been heard of since. Spanish detectives said yesterday that they had begun an investigation into the disappearance after receiving a request from their Swiss counterparts through Interpol.
Detectives in Geneva were alerted by Mr Henry’s relatives when he failed to show up for work on July 15 after what was supposed to be one of the greatest culinary adventures of modern times.
Mr Henry had finished his dessert at El Bulli — restaurant No 40 — when he got chatting to a couple at the next table, according to a Spanish police source.
He offered them his visiting card, but when he looked in his pockets he found he had none on him. So he popped out to his car to get one - and that was the last that was seen of him.
[...]
The mystery surrounding the Genevan gastronome has been fuelled by reports that he is divorced and deeply secretive and went missing for several months as a teenager.
More here. As for the inevitable screenplay, if the French write it, it will be a quirky comedy. The Americans–it will have great food imagery but be terrible because it stars Tom Hanks. So c’mon Brits. Get to writing!
CSPI Nuts Would Prefer Kids Fast Than Eat Fast Food
Michael Jacobson, blowhard founder of blowhard nutrition group CSPI, appeared on Good Morning America earlier today (under a pseudonym, apparently) to tout a new study by the group. (Video here.)
His target this time? Just another helping of the same: blah blah fast-food restaurants and blah blah blah kids’ meals.
Jacobson’s language today, though, was particularly incendiary. Literally.
“A restaurant meal is a mine field,” Mike Jacobs of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, or CSPI, told “Good Morning America.” “It’s junk everywhere and the explosions are going to be in your stomach, your heart.”
[...]
[Even though every fast-food restaurant offers healthy] options, Jacob believes that children will still suffer.
“Overweight, then obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes,” he said. “That’s what’s coming down the road.”
And exploding kids’ hearts! Don’t forget their exploding little hearts!
Jacobson failed to mention in between nonsensical imagery of spontaneously combusting children that what will ultimately be coming down the road are more ridiculous CSPI lawsuits against fast-food companies.
This Week in Bacon
This week’s feature is a bacon alarm clock, the cleverly named Wake n’ Bacon, that wakes you up with the smell of real cooked bacon, rather than the traditional, grating, cruel, terrible, gruesome alarm-clock sound. Geek.com splains:
Created by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini, and Hsiao-huh Hsu, the Wake n’ Bacon alarm clock is different from your average variety clock in that it doesn’t use sound or harsh vibration to arouse a weary sleeper. Rather, the unit cooks a slice of bacon for you to fill your bedroom with the smell of breakfast.
The way it works is that a person puts a slice of frozen bacon into the tray of the clock before going to bed. In the morning, the alarm clock then activates ten minutes before the alarm time and turns on two halogen lamps which slowly cook the bacon. Ten minutes later you are supposed to wake with the delicious smell of cooked pork in your bedroom. If that doesn’t do the the trick, then a backup alarm sounds to wake the individual.
Wired has more. If you prefer a Strawberry Alarm Clock, well then we’ve got you covered, too.
German High Court Sides Against Smoking Ban
Europeans have always been known as smokers, and Europe their happy bastion. That latter reputation has, of course, suffered mightily over the last 5-10 years, as countries from France to Ireland have limited or banned smoking in restaurants and bars.
Is this nannying tide against smoking an overwhelming inevitability? Maybe. But as events in Germany indicate, there may be a sliver of reason to hope not.
Germany’s top court upheld complaints Wednesday against anti-tobacco laws in two states, in a ruling with broad implications for a country once seen as a smokers’ paradise.
The Federal Constitutional Court said clauses of laws in the city-state of Berlin and the southwestern region in Baden-Wuerttemberg were unconstitutional because they threatened the livelihood of owners of small bars and clubs.
The six-to-two ruling means that customers in one-room bars and discotheques in the two states can keep lighting up until at least the end of 2009.
More here. Small steps in the right direction closer to home here.
Democratic Presidential Candidates… Snap!
John Kerry–Membah him?, Perez Hilton might ask–recently took the unusual step of posing for photos with bunches of boozing coeds (pictured). What gives, wonders the Boston Herald.
The shots show the former White House wannabe posing with a pack of young ladies who are wielding cups, beer cans and straws shaped like penises.
Par-tay!
In other pics, the gals are carrying on sans the senator. In one snap a reveler, who appears to be three-to-five sheets to the wind, is having a panty-exposing wardrobe malfunction as she’s helped up from the floor.
…[A Kerry aide] said Kerry and two friends were walking on the dock after having dinner at the Straight Wharf restaurant when the senator was recognized by “a large group” on a boat who asked if they could get a photo.
Right. Sure. Just happened that way. I always get accosted by coeds wielding straws shaped like…
Barack Obama, meanwhile, is telling a similar ambush story. Seems Obama told Maureen Dowd he got pwned at a Berlin restaurant by a German tabloid. A resulting article referenced his “firm rear end,” and shows him posing with a comely journalist. Those Dems.
Dogs Developing that Whole Love/Hate Thing with Rachael Ray
Those who love to hate Rachael Ray and her crap food will be pleased to learn that it’s been repackaged… as dog food. Ray’s Nutrish line–no, seriously–will, in her defense, go to help at-risk dogs. To her credit, too, she seems to have picked actual animal-rescue benefactors, rather than groups like PETA that would rather kill dogs than place them in loving homes.
Now a bit on the foo and Isaboo:
My dog Isaboo loves how good these foods taste. Lucky for me, she has no idea just how good they really are for her. They’ve got Omega Fatty Acids with a dash of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) to keep her skin and coat shiny and healthy. A blend of fiber including oatmeal makes Nutrish easy for her to digest. Calcium helps to keep Isaboo’s bones strong and her teeth healthy. For her immune system, there are antioxidants like vitamin E and selenium. Plus high quality proteins like real beef or chicken help support healthy organs and lean muscle mass.
More at Marketwatch.
While Radar went there by kind of refusing to go there, I’m going there by going there. Which not-so-delish Rachael Ray recipe was so bad that someone suggested it was more fit for the dogs?
Why I Love Globalization: Reason #752
For what seems like centuries, Jews have found solace in Chinese restaurants, which were once the only eateries in small towns across America that were open on major Christian holidays. Chinese restaurants gave hundreds of thousands of American Jews like my mom the wished-for excuse to scarf down non-kosher, Americanized platefuls of pu-pu platter and other exotic-sounding dishes.
Now, with the Olympics approaching, and the eyes of the world focused on Beijing, Jews visiting the city will have literally millions of Chinese culinary options. Included amongst those options will be exactly one kosher restaurant: Dini’s Kosher Restaurant. YNet News reports:
This diner is not just the only place in China that offers its guests matzo ball soup, kugel, and Moroccan cigars eaten with chopsticks, it’s also the only place where a mitzvah-keeping tourist can sample local delicacies such as dim-sum and Sichuan chicken made with all-kosher ingredients, while listening to the head rabbi’s daughter answer questions about the Torah’s Portion of the Week every Friday evening.
[...]
“The days in which Jews had to wander through China with suitcases full of preserved food are over,” said Rabbi Shimon Freundlich, Chabad’s envoy to Beijing.
According to the restaurant’s manager, Ohad Tiktinski, locals have also begun to frequent Dini’s, due to their belief that kosher food is healthier and cleaner. However even the Chinese people, who are rumored to consume everything that has four legs other than the kitchen table, have their limits. They refuse to touch the gefilte fish.
Who could blame them? Dini’s extensive tri-lingual menu (English, Mandarin, and Hebrew) here (PDF).
California Says Farewell to Freedom Fries, Bans Trans Fats
California on Friday became the worst first state to completely ban trans fats from state restaurants. That sucks.
…Tammy Perez, owner of the Pizza Club restaurant in La Habra (Orange County), says the transition is not so easy. She switched to oil free of trans fat 18 months ago - and paid twice as much, she said. The bad economy is making it hard enough for restaurants to survive, she added, and now the new law is “pushing some of us over the edge,”
The law requires professional cooks to purge their kitchens of all ingredients containing more than half a gram per serving of artificial trans fat by Jan. 1, 2010. Inspectors could impose fines of $25 to $1,000 for violations.
Bakers have an extra year to adhere to the ban because pastries are the most difficult products to make without trans fat-laden oils and shortenings. Packaged foods are not affected by the law.
[...]
“As a former fourth-grade schoolteacher in East L.A., I saw firsthand the problems of obesity,” [Assemblyman Tony] Mendoza said Friday. “AB97 is a culmination of these concerns and works to benefit the well-being of kids and California.”
More politicians pretending to do stuff for kids here in the SF Chronicle.
Of course, until California’s overlords are nannying vegans–a distinct possibility in that state if any, frankly—it will be impossible to completely banish trans fats, since about 20% of the trans fats we eat occurs naturally in beef and the meat of other tasty ruminant animals. Though that 20% figure will rise as restaurants (but not, yet, grocers) are forced to cook how the state wants them to.
What’s Your Beef?
I’m a flatiron guy. It’s the right size (about 0.9-1.1 lbs per steak), it’s got tenderloin-like texture, and its’ got good flavor along the lines of a sirloin.
More here–including photos of recipes for the mercado hispano and beef training camp–from the graphic’s originator, Beef Retail.
Thanks to beef-eating partner in crime Jerry Brito for the steak tip.
