Archives for September 2008
Man Marries Woman of Dreams, Eats Cheeseburger of Dreams in Same Day
Who needs a wedding cake at their wedding when they can have a GIANT cheeseburger? No one really eats the cake at weddings anyways right?
Well, Tom and Kerry Watts decided to forgo the traditional cake and opt for a 42-lb cheeseburger instead:
Mr. Watts says, “Not only did I get to marry the woman of my dreams but I also got to have the burger of my dreams in the same day.”
Sigh . . . isn’t love beautiful? Easy on the romance there, tiger. Good thing Tom and Kerry decided to love each other in sickness and in health, because, looking at McDonald’s nutrition facts – 100 quarter pounders with cheese would equal about 51,000 calories, my friends (of course, if the burger to meat to cheese ratio is the same).
If cheeseburger was for dessert, I wonder what they served for dinner . . . chicken nuggets and fries perhaps?
High Schoolers + Food = Busted
Kids, you might get suspended from school for two days if you bring your grill to school and throw a tailgate party in the school parking lot before classes. Even if there’s no booze? Yes. “We didn’t have beer, we didn’t have weed, we had bacon,” said one student, whose quote is one of the year’s best.
And you might also think twice before dressing up like a banana and running across the field during a school football game. Why? Because you’ll be arrested and thrown in jail.
Bottled NYC tap water not at all a gimmick, all about local and green and stuff
Entrepreneur Craig Zucker is bottling and selling NYC tap water. Now that’s some chutzpah.
On the one hand, the fact is tap water is generally safe and delicious. I don’t understand buying the stuff except when you’re out and about and what you’re really buying is the convenience. On the other hand, I’m not crazy about Zucker’s enviro-nationalist-adbusterese “manifesto” on the Tap’dNY site. In part it reads:
Year after year, bottled water companies have told us that their water was somehow healthier or better for us than our own water. They spent billions of dollars on marketing to make us believe that we needed exotic water, in sleek packaging, from far away Arctic glaciers, tropical islands, and European volcanoes.
We fell for the fancy marketing gimmicks, too, and the brands we drank started to become status symbols.
Totally, because bottling tap water is not a gimmick, and there’s no way people would ever take politically correct water and use it as a status symbol.
Other copy on the site talks about the “miles saved” by not having to ship in the water from abroad, and that the local water requires “little energy to produce.” The site’s ordering page explains, “We do not deliver to Fiji or France—they can keep their water and we’ll keep ours.”
It’s curious that although the water is all local, it costs at least as much as the French variety. A 20 oz bottle of Tap’dNY costs $1.50, or 7.5¢ an ounce. Looking at Peapod, Evian is going for as little as .047¢ an ounce when you buy the liter bottle. I’m all for local—even if it’s more expensive—when it’s about quality and taste. But if it’s not about taste or quality (and certainly not about falling for marketing gimmicks), then Tap’dNY water makes as much sense as paying twice as much for an iPod because it was assembled in the Bronx.
Breakfast à la carte
–Aspiring chef dies after consuming too-hot chilis on dare, the Times of London reports.
–If fat woman had been skinny woman, she wouldn’t be alive right now. “Being big saved my life.” More here from the Herald-Sun (Australia).
–Colts fan* breaks into home, hangs out in attic with pilfered beer and bologna for hours until he’s eventually caught, reports The Indy Channel.
*Presumably.
Good Stuff Eatery 1, WTOP 0
I just picked up some ground beef at DC’s best meat market–glorious Wagshal’s–and drove home withit in the car. Took about 10 minutes to get from point A to point B, and another 2-3 minutes to get into my fridge. Am I going to die or even get sick due to the transit? Of course not. Else we’d never be able to buy any perishable at a market, and all our food would come from a can or box.
Nevertheless, everyone from TMZ to Crispy guestblogger extraordinaire Kim has seen fit to rush to judgment against Spike Mendelsohn, the former Top Chef contestant who is the public face of the embryonic and highly regarded DC burger mecca Good Stuff Eatery on Capitol Hill.
The fracas began after WTOP, the local all-news multimedia empire here (TV, radio, online) reported that Good Stuff allegedly stored beef in the alley behind the family-owned restaurant. The same alley where (like most urban eateries) their deliveries arrive. Mendelsohn legitimately claims the food had just been dropped off.
Does it make any sense that a restaurant would store valuable food outside? Of course not.
But I want to take this opportunity not just to counter the Mendelsohn haters–and, to be sure, his hat fancy annoys the hell out of me, too–but also take on the silliness that is WTOP.
First and foremost, should we really trust a report about where a restaurant stores its food from a news station that boasts every ten minutes about its mockworthy and puzzlingly named glass-enclosed nerve center?
Who encloses a vital “nerve center” in breakable glass? What’s next for WTOP? Radio towers made of Lincoln Logs? “Hard-hitting” Muppet reporters?
But I digress.
It’s not just the G-ENC that bugs me about WTOP. I’ve heard WTOP radio reporters slant the news to their liking before, and others have criticized the station’s blind embrace of all things regulatory at the expense of business. Maybe the station is just biased because blasting business in the news business is good business.
Whatever the case, Good Stuff is good stuff in my book. And WTOP’s credibility just took another hit.
Mendelsohn, for his part, shows that he’s got a sense of humor in addition to his culinary chops. Good Stuff Eatery sent out an email to subscribers the other day advertising an apropos and scrumptious-sounding new special. Mendelsohn’s Back Alley Burger comes with bacon, sautéed mushrooms, muenster cheese, and Thousand Island dressing. Now that’s good stuff.
This Week in Bacon
There has been a string of bacon thefts this past week, reports Lancashire Telegraph. The cost of bacon has doubled in England since last year, and thieves have been targeting the product so that they can sell it at a lower price:
Sgt Phil Carter, of Burnley Police, said: “Heroin addicts steal it, along with items like coffee, because it is an easy commodity to sell and easy to conceal in a jacket.
“They often steal it to order and then sell it for half the price of what it is sold for in the shops.
“If a wrap of heroin costs around £10, they only need to sell a few packs of bacon to pay for it and they can steal that in one fell swoop.”
Now, stores are hiding their bacon packs behind the counter, and potential consumers must request assistance in order to purchase it. One shop owner even posted this sign on the store fridge: “Due to the fact that our bacon is so delicious the shoplifters can’t resist it! If you would like to try some please ask at the tills.”
You know times are tough when you are buying bacon packs (which likely were not properly refrigerated after the theft) on the street from drug addicts. Even worse, though, you know you are really addicted to heroin if you’re stealing bacon, and then selling it for a fix.
I guess you can’t have your bacon and eat it too.
Top Chef Loser Cited for Filth
Beef: it’s what’s for dinner – and it’s being stored in Top Chef Season 4 contestant Spike Mendehlson’s back alley. WTOPnews.com reports that Spike was recently cited by the DC Department of Health for several “critical” violations at his new restaurant, Good Stuff Eatery.
[A] Sept. 4, 2008 D.C. Department of Health inspection report shows an inspector found raw meat in the same location.
[...]
The report also shows the hamburger joint was cited for three critical violations on Sept. 4 for the following risk factors:
• Hand washing facilities were not accessible to employees;
• Food contact surfaces (cutting boards) were not properly sanitized;
• Food was not segregated, separated and protected
Spike claims that the meat in the alley had just been delivered, and insists he does not store food in the alley normally. He fought back, “I know how to run a restaurant . . . you can come right here and you can eat off the floor . . .” If Spike’s poor attitude and always mediocre dishes on last season’s Top Chef weren’t reason enough to stay away from his new place, the meat stored in the alley should drive the remaining believers away.
Spike, once again you should pack up your knives and go.
Breast Milk Update
Here’s an update on the Swiss restaurant owner who is replacing cow’s milk with breast milk in the food he serves: Apparently, he’s created a trend…
Yesterday, PETA wrote a letter to Ben & Jerry’s, urging them to replace cow’s milk with breast milk in their ice-cream:
Using cow’s milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer’s health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America’s leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow’s milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America’s number one cause of death.
[...]
The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben & Jerry’s ice cream?
Ben & Jerry’s response?
We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.
We (Brad, co-guest blogger and I) agree . . . no thanks PETA. It seems like PETA is devaluing their own mission here by making ludicrous requests — do they really expect Ben & Jerry’s to go around the country gathering breast milk from lactating women? Cows are better suited for the job and it’s definitely cheaper. Plus, breast milk tastes best from the teat, which is why it’s for babies. So, let’s keep it that way.
This Week in Bacon
Breaking from Baylen’s usual Friday musings about bacon, I thought I would share something today that just couldn’t wait: the latest in bacon dental hygiene.
Most people brush and floss their teeth to get that refreshing minty, clean feeling in their mouth. Well, now you can leave your mouth with the delicious taste of crisp bacon (all while actually cleaning your teeth too), without the fat!
Fred Flare boutique has recently started selling a new product — bacon floss.
It is not just for breakfast any more… So wrong it’s right, this pack of dental floss has the delicious flavor of crispy bacon! Is there anything bacon cannot improve? We think not.
While that might be true — bacon does improve nearly everything — I don’t know if I could say that it would improve my flossing. Especially for $9 plus shipping and handling. A pack of bacon costs less than that — if I want my mouth to have that delicious bacon taste in it, I would rather it come from eating the bacon, rather than flossing with it. And, I’m pretty sure 0 in 5 dentists recommend it.
[Via Stylelist]
Thanks to reader Dana for forwarding the story . . .
With Economy Worsening, Hershey’s Starts Selling Mockolate
Last week, our country faced major changes as a result of the worsening economy. Lehman Brothers went bankrupt. Bank of America purchased Merrill-Lynch. The Federal Reserve took over AIG in an $85 billion bailout. Even worse though, was Hershey’s decision to stop doing what they do best – manufacturing chocolate. Last Friday, TODAY reported that Hershey, in an effort to cut costs, swapped cocoa butter for vegetable oil in certain products (e.g. Whatchamacallit, Milk Duds, Mr. Goodbar, and Krackel):
“The removal of cocoa butter violates the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s definition of milk chocolate, so subtle changes have appeared on the labels of the Hershey’s products with altered recipes. Products once labeled “milk chocolate” now say “chocolate candy,” “made with chocolate” or “chocolatey.”
Some say the label changes are too difficult to spot.
“A lot of people don’t notice it. The package looks exactly the same,” said Cybele May, who has chronicled the changes in detail on her Candy Blog. “I feel betrayed by Hershey’s. They’re giving me an inferior product and they’re not even telling me …”
Blind taste tests revealed that consumers also didn’t notice a difference in taste between the chocolate and the “mockolate.” So, I thought I would try it for myself. I went down to my trusty neighborhood convenience store and bought a Whatchamacallit – the package read, “rich chocolatey coating.” Honestly, I can’t taste the difference, but still – where are the antioxidants? And why doesn’t it melt in my mouth as smoothly? I feel betrayed too Cybele. At least Hersheys kept the cocoa in their Hershey’s Kisses and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Still, I think it’s time for a brand change – back to M&Ms and Snickers for me.
Crispy Guestblogging News
I’m doing a guestblogging stint o’er at the fantastic Overlawyered this week.
You needn’t though fret. I’ve lined up Crispy’s first guestblogger, in the form of my fun law school classmate and Administrative Law Review colleague–the aspiring food writer, foodie and all-around bacon fanatic Kim Nguyen–to dish on all things crispy in my stead. I’ll be back next week.
Kim and readers: have at each other. And feel free (of course) to stop by Overlawyered as well.
This Week in Bacon
If you don’t see any flames, how exactly do you know when your bacon smokehouse is on fire?
Stunning Postmodernism or Kids’ Bologna Sandwich Contest Winner?
Swiss Restaurant to Feature Dishes Made With Human Breast Milk
Human breast milk is coming to the menu of a Swiss restaurant, The Guardian reports. Owner Hans Locher explains why:
“We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?”
[...]
Mr Locher attracted the attention of the leading media of the German-speaking world this week after he posted ads looking for women donors, who will receive just over three pounds for 14 ounces of their milk.
He said: “I first experimented with breast milk when my daughter was born.
“One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency.”
Yuck. I’ll pass, thank you. Though I am disgusted, I’m also heartened that Swiss regulations seem to permit a kook cook like Locher to whip up any sort of food he’d like, so long as it isn’t going to kill anyone and (creepy) customers might want to partake.
[Via Slashdot]
‘Kitchen Nightmares’: The Game
Gordon Ramsay is busy. And when you have 53,000 things going on, this is bound to be your life: lots of crazy highs mixed in with lowly lows.
As his cooks scatter, he forges ahead on strange ventures with even stranger people. As he looks aghast trying to breathe life into the kitchen of yet another crappy Long Island eatery, Fox re-ups him.
Just out: a new Kitchen Nightmares video game. From the product description:
Hell’s Kitchen is a TV phenomenon featuring world-renowned chef Gordon Ramsay putting aspiring chefs through rigorous culinary tests. The game recreates the show’s pressure-cooker atmosphere as players complete a series of kitchen and dining room challenges to find out if they have what it takes to be a “Five-Star” chef. Fulfilling an order requires three important phases – preparation, cooking and service, all of which players must master to progress. Prepare ingredients, cook them to the correct quality and get food out of the kitchen on time. Each complete meal is scored by Chef Gordon Ramsay to make the kitchen boot camp experience come alive.
More here at the game’s official website. The game, which apparently features trademark Ramsay tirades, is rated T for Teen in the States but earns a mere PG in Australia, where one writer wonders WTF is up with that?
The game markets at about $40. Buy for Wii and other formats here.
