Smoke Alarm
The town of Milford, Connecticut, is having difficulty outlawing certain kinds of outdoor cooking:
An attempt to ban backyard fireplaces and outdoor ovens here is going up in smoke.
Although a proposed ordinance on open burning is being revised, the final version will not cover the popular “chimeneas” or even backyard pizza ovens, officials said Thursday.
“State law specifically allows cooking in the yard, and we would need the help of our legislators to change that,” Mayor James L. Richetelli Jr. said.
Curse those explicitly enumerated rights. Because if it’s one principle this country was founded on, it’s that everything is illegal unless the law books say otherwise.
Several residents complained to the Board of Aldermen earlier this week that the smoky fires are aggravating asthma and other breathing problems and that the odor is keeping neighbors indoors.
A brick, wood-fired pizza oven with a 6-foot-tall stack in a Hawley Avenue backyard is a nuisance for residents of a four-unit apartment house next door. “He has to burn wood in it for three hours just to get it hot enough,” one of the residents said. “The smell when he’s making pizza is great, but not all of the smoke and the burning wood that goes with it.”
Damn this anonymous chef who was not interviewed for the story! Damn him and his individualistic ways, what with his pizza making and his laws of physics.
Robert Gavlik, of Andrus Drive, said that even the clay or metal chimeneas emit a lot of annoying smoke and odor. “We have to close our windows to keep the smell out of the house,” he said. “We’ve gone to great lengths to curtail cigarette smoking, but smoke coming into your house is more offensive.”
But fear not. This Heat Miser sees a potential strategy around state law and its contemptible concern for liberty:
Aldermanic Chairman Ben Blake, D-5, said the city’s ability to help may be limited. “I haven’t taken the temperature of the board on this, but some will warm to the idea of controlling them for public safety reasons.
Citizen! The Government commands you to stay indoors and eat your gruel. Emit no odors!
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Jessica Lee
