Respect for Crust

Posted by Jerry on Nov. 22, 2008

My friend Julie tells a heart-warming story about her grandmother teaching her and a friend how to make the famous familial pie crust recipe. They were in high school at the time, and Julie’s friend was a sweet, shy, people pleaser sort of girl.

Grandmother instructs girls on how to make the crust, starting with the cutting of fat into the flour. Girls start cutting away. Grandmother observes Julie’s technique for a while and then turns to Julie’s friend. Next thing Julie hears is her Grandmother’s piercing shriek.

“You’ve ruined it! You’ve ruined the pie crust! No one will be able to eat that! We’ll have to throw it out! I told you to cut it to the size of peas! That’s like (a horrified pause) CORNMEAL!”

Whilst fuming, Grandmother heaves mixture into the trash. Pale and wan, friend recuses herself from the scene and flees for haven in Julie’s bedroom. Julie leaves kitchen to run emotional triage on friend. And that was the end of the lesson.

It’s the sort of story where the heart bleeds for both sides really. I feel for the tender teenager (who I fear may have developed a life-long aversion to pie), but I confess I tip my hat to Julie’s Grandmother. I like her crust. Horrors are being perpetuated under the name of crust, and it is time to take a stand.

I lay my crusts on the table: Crust is the sine qua non of pie. If you’re not going to go to the “trouble” of providing a decent crust, just bake the filling without a crust. Or go make a cake. Or skip dessert.

Remember, Julie’s grandmother is watching.

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  • Chris
    I confess I'm no pie crust expert. I guess the problem was that the friend was cutting fat into pieces that were too small? How would this affect the crust?
  • Winn
    I also was confused for the apple pie recipe when you said to cut it the size of peas.... maybe you should upload a picture?
  • I think the "peas" requirement is pretty common. My Better Homes cookbook (ca. 1965) says the same. I've always taken it to mean cutting the shortening into the flour (I tend to use softened butter rather than lard) until it's about the size of small peas/large BBs.
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