Live Long and Suffer
Those cranky septuagenarian journalists of 60 Minutes ran a piece this past weekend on a possibly life-extending component of red wine. No one needs another excuse to partake of the vino tinto (even merlot!), but the best part comes around the 6:15 mark when Morley Safer, in-between pulls on the oxygen mask, hobnobs with some self-flagellators in a scene featuring more dessicated skin than Wilson’s Leather:
Meet the members of CRS – the Calorie Restriction Society – a group that has been severely restricting their calories for years now. They are also part of a Washington University study to see if humans “mimic” the monkeys. Does this kind of self-denial makes them live longer, healthier lives?
60 Minutes joined them for what they call “happy hour,” consisting of a cocktail of low-calorie soup for starters, and walnuts, and baby food – green bean puree on flour-free bread to top off this feast fit for a flea.
So far the participants have lowered their blood pressure, reduced body fat, and lessened risk factors for heart disease, diabetes and even cancer.
Look. I foresee me dying in one of two ways: in my sleep or in a fiery explosion saving humanity from the Islamic Republic of Necrotopia 6. Either way, hitting the century mark via privation isn’t a goal. I’m not opposed to transhumanism but I’ll never understand the reasoning behind mortification of the flesh as a gateway to anything, whether it be God, Nirvana, or longer life. So many self-deniers I meet or read about, like the Skinnies of Safer’s report, seem eager to trade quality for quantity, if only to spend their extra hours on Earth playing World of Warcraft. I’ll take my chances with steak and Dunkin Donuts and looking like I didn’t walk off the lot of a 1930s Universal film.
Photo by Mr. Barry Norman, Gadabout.
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Jolly Bloger
