Archives for the 'bacon salt' tag
This Week in Bacon
Mmm Mmm Mmmvelopes. The geniuses over at J&D’s (makers of bacon salt) have brought us the newest bacon-flavored goodness: bacon-flavored envelopes, aka mmmvelopes. It’s practical and delicious – great for people who love bacon, and hate licking envelopes (in other words, 93% of the meat-eating population). Here’s what the mmmvelope creators had to say:
Technology has given us a lot lately. The car. TV. X-rays. The refrigerator. The Internet. Heck, we even cured polio. But what have our envelopes tasted like for the last 4,000 years? Armpit, that’s what.
Really, people? If we can’t overcome this kind of minor technical challenge, it’s only a matter of time until some super-advanced race of aliens with lasers, spaceships and a delicious federal mail system comes down and colonizes the world. And nobody wants that (except for the aliens, of course).
So, after thousands of years and kajillions of horrible tasting envelopes licked, we’re happy to report that J&D’s Bacon-Flavored Mmmvelopes™ are here to save the day. No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.
That’s right, bacon. It’s not real bacon, mind you, so you won’t have to start storing your envelopes in the refrigerator. But it really does taste like bacon. Which is what you really wanted in the first place, isn’t it?
And it only took us 4,000 years to get there. Eat that, alien invaders.
Well, after all that, I just have one question. Who uses envelopes anymore?
This Week in Bacon
As someone who likes to think he has a bit of food-tattoo cred–I’ve had a steaming cup of coffee inked on my left arm for about 15 years–I’m still impressed by the image at right.
That’s a version of the BaconFreak.com logo tattooed on some pork-obsessed dude’s still-raw arm. At least I think it’s an arm.
More here.
In related news, for those of you who find Bacon Salt to be cool but lacking in, um, actual bacon, BaconFreak.com has you covered with their new line of bacon-flavored seasonings that are actually flavored with bacon.
This Week in Bacon
From the makers of bacon salt comes “the next big thing” in bacon: baconnaise, a spreadable bacon-flavored mayonnaise. Dave Lefkow and business partner Justin Esch explain:
“We get a lot of customer e-mails with a lot of crazy suggestions for new ways to come up with bacon flavors, like lip balm,” Lefkow said. “Spreadable bacon was one such suggestion.” So, the two talked to friends in the food industry to determine the feasibility of a bacon-flavored mayonnaise. “It had to be true-bacon flavored,” Lefkow said. “I didn’t want ‘mayocan.’” So, the product went to research and development. And Lefkow said he figures he had nothing but bacon and mayonnaise for breakfast for the next six months. “I’d literally, every day, have a bite of real bacon, then a taste of the Baconnaise to see if they’d gotten it just right yet,” Lefkow said. “My cholesterol must have gone through the roof and I must have gained 10 pounds.” He was willing to make the sacrifice, knowing they were upon the precipice of “the next big thing.” Finally, last month, perfection was achieved. They made a regular and light Baconnaise.
The product launches on October 30th. For those in Seattle, a launch party is being held at Heaven Night Club in Pioneer Square, where two semi-professional wrestlers (one dressed up as a strip of bacon, the other as a jug of mayonnaise) will have a “death match” – just in time for Halloween!
Who needs candy, when you’ve got bacon-flavored mayonnaise? So, mark your calendars and don’t forget to purchase some baconnaise starting October 30th. What will these geniuses think of next?
This Week in Bacon
Earlier this week in the Crispy podcast, Bacon Unwrapped’s Heather Lauer enthusiastically called bacon salt the damn finest newish bacon product around. That endorsement is good enough for me. So what’s the deal with bacon salt?
Bacon Salt is a fat free, zero calorie, vegetarian, Kosher, bacon flavored seasoning salt that really tastes just like bacon.
If you’re like most people, you love the taste of great bacon. We, like you, also love bacon. And we’re on a quest to make everything taste like bacon. Think about it: your favorite meals, from steak and potatoes to chicken, eggs, fish, prawns, even salads and vegetables – all with real bacon flavor.
More at the official bacon salt website, which proclaims, correctly, that “everything should taste like bacon.”
Recent review here. Get yer baocn salt here.
